Already ready for the next try

Fittingly I write this on Jim Morrison's birthday, or rather how fitting it might have been. For about 15 glorious minutes speeding through Cubbon Park yesterday, I felt that this was the day I would break on through to the other side. I already knew this was my strongest ever pace at the 15 K mark and I should have held back right there and then! But I chose not to and continued to let the endorphins get the better of me. The result: I started feeling the cramp around 20 K and couldn't feel both my hamstrings by 28 K. I could have sat on the jogging strip and beaten my fists on the floor...I didn't know what was making me wince more: the frustration of hitting the wall again or the pain of it. Both were very real.

It took me 20 minutes to walk back home...a walk of about 800 metres. I just could not feel my legs. The pain was excruciating. It took me until 5 PM to be able to hobble about again. I think it was a combination of not drinking enough water and of pushing myself too much too soon. If I had held back around the 15 K mark, it would have resulted in less pain, more distance. I broke a fundamental rule in distance running and paid for it. Sitting here right now it all seems so clear but how can I explain that feeling of complete control when pride & strength (albeit momentary) obscure reason and logic?

This is a classic example of what marathons teach you: humility, understanding & accepting your limitations and pushing yourself to achieve more little by little, bit by painful bit. There really is no substitute for perseverance and hard work. And there really are no short cuts. Momentary, fleeting impressions of power & supremacy are just that. Fleeting. They only serve to make you drunk and then send you crashing back down. This is true for everything we do in life. I think I am going through a self-improvement overload.

But all this is irrelevant. The goal is as distant as it ever was. I have 3 more tries at cracking the 35 K mark. I can't wait for next Sunday.