Ultra Mock Run

After what seemed an eternity, I finally got my house in order and made it to one of the numerous Runners for Life "long runs" that are organised by the good folks at RFL. It's been a disappointing 3 odd months for me personally. Several times I had enough motivation, the right conditions and no excuses for not hitting my peak fitness levels but every time I got close I fell off the wagon. Badly. I indulged too much. Too often. I went out. I slept late. I became afraid of the gym. Laziness became fear. Fear of what my peers at the gym would say. What Mani my fitness instructor would throw at me. Fear of trying to hit that 5 K mark in 28 minutes and failing. Fear turned into apathy. And it could have gotten worse but I came back from the abyss. The last 3 months were a painful reminder of how easy it is for us to settle into our decadent, comfortable and meaningless lives. When life holds less and less meaning, the more blunt we become to it's wonders and possibilities. Our senses dull, our attitudes wither and all our negativity is bubbling forth. Each of us finds meaning from different sources, different ways to connect to that part within us that gives us energy and true happiness. For me, this is it. I am more sure of it than I ever was, more certain than anything else in my short existence thus far. I peered into the abyss, dangling from a very frayed and thin rope and managed to cling on. Else the climb would have been steeper still, perhaps I would have lost this forever.

Anyhow, here I am. I made it to the Mock Ultra run and if before I was determined to get back into good running nick, I am now comfortable. Comfortable in the knowledge reaffirmed that this is the one single thing I love most above all else. I am secure now that I will never let this sensation slip away and drown in glasses of whisky or beer or anything else. The run was organised at "our native village", an eco resort outside Bangalore amongst what are apparently the last remaining grasslands and nesting grounds around here for migratory birds. The landscape at 6:30 AM was stark, dull, gloomy and spectacular all at once. The trail was tough, strewn with loose stones the size of tennis balls. Hit one on the flush and you had a major ankle problem. It was a difficult trail. I went in determined to get a feel for it and run a long distance. After the first 3 K I really settled in and ran a good 18 K. I probably could have hit 30 K if I pushed myself but the pushing will have to be done on the 14th November when we return to this trail for the Ultra. I've signed up for the 50 K category and while I am still in terrible running form and shape for such a demanding run, I feel better now. Not because I think I can complete it. That will be decided on the day. But more because I feel more honest now. Trying to attempt something like this without sacrifice and hard work would be betraying the purity of the endevour. Like trying to climb a mountain with improper training. Or showing disrespect to the effort in question, by thought, word or actions. Yes I am old fashioned that way. The one great thing about distance running is that bluster gets you nowhere. In most sports, there is plenty of room for bluster. If you have the skill you can get away with it all. In distance running, the road doesn't understand any language except for the rhythmic pat-pat of your feet and your panting to go with it. The road or trail goes on. There is no opponent here. No one goading you or heckling you. But I digress. 

It felt good getting in a nice 2 hour 18 K run. I can only get stronger from here. My goal of a 4:15 Mumbai Marathon looms ominously ahead but I have the best teacher there is on my side this time: experience. However, that can wait. For now, I intend to mentally and physically prepare as well as I can over the next 14 days for the Ultra. Come what may, I know I'll emerge from that run stronger. Not because I may finish but because what's going into it now is pure.