Long Run 12
"Do you ****ing want to be somebody?" I asked myself as my watch beeped me into the 31st kilometre. I'm not sure if I found the answer to that question but I did complete my goal of a 20 miler this weekend.
I started off too fast. By the 10K mark, I wasn't feeling "it". "It" is something you can't really define. Sportspeople will understand. On some days, the ball just comes out of your hand beautifully. On some days the bat can't find anything other than the sweet spot. On some days every drive and chip seems to find the middle of the fairway or green and the ball lands exactly where you wanted it to. It's a magical feeling. And then there are days like yesterday. My right foot started to hurt. My stomach felt queasy. I suddenly found myself out of breath when I had no right to find myself out of breath. Maybe my body was rebelling. This was my 3rd consecutive 30K attempt in 3 Saturdays. Maybe I ate something I shouldn't have the previous day. Maybe I didn't sleep too well. Who knows.
By the 20K mark I was really struggling and that showed in my split times. At that point, my mind was flooded by thoughts of stopping and going home early for a warm bath, the newspaper and tea. No shame. I'd run an honest 20K. Fairly decent pace. Apprehensions about pushing myself too far too fast also hovered around. That's when I asked myself the question that Dusty Olson kept asking Scott Jurek, while pacing him on so many of his ultra wins, "Do you want to be somebody Jurker? Do you ****ing want to be somebody?" It's quite an innocuous question at one level, especially when your glycogen stores are depleted, your stomach feels like its churning, when all you want to do is sit down, breathe normally and take your shoes off. But it's also a question that for me elicits strong emotions. It's the reason I run. There's no reward at the end. No prize. No accolades. Maybe improved health but that's hardly a reason to keep running when salt is flaking off your arms, legs and face. When the salt is stinging your eyes. But I kept repeating that question.
20 miles is the longest recommended run in most marathon training plans. The recommended limit is one 20 miler about a month before race day. I'm going to aim for three and at least one where I hit 35K. The point is to become friends with all those physiological and psychological sensations that hit you beyond the 30K mark: the mental exhaustion, the physical distress, that churning sensation in your tummy, the sudden hunger, the thirst you can't explain despite chugging down water, being able to continue sipping water as you keep pulling your body along. And lots more. For me, the last 3 training runs have exposed that truth: the way to conquer a marathon or an ultra is to seek this zone often, to recognise when you have entered this distress zone and enjoy it, become comfortable in it, keep motivating yourself that you can push through it and keep asking yourself if you want to be the guy who stops or the guy who wants to be somebody. That's what "pushing through" the fatigue and exhaustion that all running lore speaks of is all about. I just may finish the KTM or may not. I'll only know on race day but for me, this is new found wisdom. Something I hope will help me push further in understanding if I want to be somebody. I'm always amazed by the similarities between running and life.
I started off too fast. By the 10K mark, I wasn't feeling "it". "It" is something you can't really define. Sportspeople will understand. On some days, the ball just comes out of your hand beautifully. On some days the bat can't find anything other than the sweet spot. On some days every drive and chip seems to find the middle of the fairway or green and the ball lands exactly where you wanted it to. It's a magical feeling. And then there are days like yesterday. My right foot started to hurt. My stomach felt queasy. I suddenly found myself out of breath when I had no right to find myself out of breath. Maybe my body was rebelling. This was my 3rd consecutive 30K attempt in 3 Saturdays. Maybe I ate something I shouldn't have the previous day. Maybe I didn't sleep too well. Who knows.
By the 20K mark I was really struggling and that showed in my split times. At that point, my mind was flooded by thoughts of stopping and going home early for a warm bath, the newspaper and tea. No shame. I'd run an honest 20K. Fairly decent pace. Apprehensions about pushing myself too far too fast also hovered around. That's when I asked myself the question that Dusty Olson kept asking Scott Jurek, while pacing him on so many of his ultra wins, "Do you want to be somebody Jurker? Do you ****ing want to be somebody?" It's quite an innocuous question at one level, especially when your glycogen stores are depleted, your stomach feels like its churning, when all you want to do is sit down, breathe normally and take your shoes off. But it's also a question that for me elicits strong emotions. It's the reason I run. There's no reward at the end. No prize. No accolades. Maybe improved health but that's hardly a reason to keep running when salt is flaking off your arms, legs and face. When the salt is stinging your eyes. But I kept repeating that question.
20 miles is the longest recommended run in most marathon training plans. The recommended limit is one 20 miler about a month before race day. I'm going to aim for three and at least one where I hit 35K. The point is to become friends with all those physiological and psychological sensations that hit you beyond the 30K mark: the mental exhaustion, the physical distress, that churning sensation in your tummy, the sudden hunger, the thirst you can't explain despite chugging down water, being able to continue sipping water as you keep pulling your body along. And lots more. For me, the last 3 training runs have exposed that truth: the way to conquer a marathon or an ultra is to seek this zone often, to recognise when you have entered this distress zone and enjoy it, become comfortable in it, keep motivating yourself that you can push through it and keep asking yourself if you want to be the guy who stops or the guy who wants to be somebody. That's what "pushing through" the fatigue and exhaustion that all running lore speaks of is all about. I just may finish the KTM or may not. I'll only know on race day but for me, this is new found wisdom. Something I hope will help me push further in understanding if I want to be somebody. I'm always amazed by the similarities between running and life.
posted by Abs @ 10:54 AM
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